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Thursday, October 18th, 2001
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5:17 pm - hockey season
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Well it is five games or so into the hockey season! "My" team , the Stanley Cup Champion Colorado Avalanche are looking horrible. They played Tampa Bay the other night and the stats were so close I couldn't have said who was who by the #'s. ugh
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| Monday, October 15th, 2001
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9:28 am - 5,000 souls
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This is going to be late , but as you know I just got it back on sooo........
The 9,11 call went out across the country and the globe.A bone jarring sound that echos on through the mountains of Afghanistan.People stop. and stare into their hearts searching for that piece of rock , that stone of strength that used to carry them home on dark passages through the night. Families huddle close and watch the horror unfolding out on the street corner , praying ,praying ,praying for it to end. And as the din of war fills their eyes so red , they emerge , clenched fist and singing the battle hymns of old. "VENGEANCE"! , screams the mob of workers as they file in line to the clock.Production feeds off the fervor and the soothing smells of capitalism seems to placate the crowd. Entertainment and cruise missiles fly on a friday night each one oblivious to the other.Misplaced are the memories of rubble as a faded rage destroys anew.electric shock learning facilities lose effect when the power goes out.all is the same , hating , hurting , killing..... unity remains utopian graffiti.
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| Saturday, October 13th, 2001
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3:37 pm
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woah! it still works i just reinstalled it and my password stuff must be on my registry. heh heh
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| Saturday, August 4th, 2001
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12:06 pm
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Speeding down the highway towards the sea , running down the future , running from the past . I've crossed so many vistas , reflections in blazing glass . The faces are always changing , disfigured in a hurried flash . errr was going for a stream of consciousness thing but ended up with this hunk o' rhyming crapola. control issues?
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| Friday, August 3rd, 2001
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2:15 pm
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hang over city boys and girls!
It's been awhile since I drank last and oh am I feeling it now. Two mini pitchers and a bottle of Heineken and I was done. Heh-heh aw yes low tolerance makes for a cheap evening.
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| Thursday, August 2nd, 2001
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10:36 am
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Smiles , those distant kind that speak silently to you and tell you about their owners pain. What do they say to me when they flash that look in my direction? Do I evoke such sorrow in those that pass that all I can see is their suffering? It makes me think about my happiness and my hurt. It makes me see the little piece of human being left in those lost souls , left outside for too long , abandoned to get through all this modern convenience and sterile comfort without the love and compassion of their fellow man.
Shall I smile back on them in this one small moment of closeness , the moment when their smile will meet mine and embrace one another ? This chance to hold onto a stranger in the ways a father clutches his young to his chest in their times of fright and worry. Holding their hand as we pass together so very not alone into the wicked garden , strong in our unity
No! I don't know this person , who do they think they are?! ! Shall I extend myself to every distraught person who stumbles onto my path? I don't have time for this nonsense! I don't have the energy to spare! I am too busy and way to late to care! I am........I am.........I am........I am........I.....I....I..I..I..I..I.. me alone.
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| Monday, July 23rd, 2001
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5:43 pm - my glorious new picture
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Well all you friends and fools who view my trash have the honor of seeing a pic. made by one angelfaye! Thanx again sweetheart.
current mood: confused current music: spelling bee champs-- me chun spel
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5:43 pm - my glorious new picture
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Well all you friends and fools who view my trash have the honor of seeing a pic. made by one anglefaye! Thanx again sweetheart.
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2:22 pm
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I went to the hospital today with my gf to get the ultrasound done! And................................(drum roll ) :
It's a girl! Or one unfortunate little boy! She better be a tomboy . heh -heh
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| Sunday, July 22nd, 2001
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4:23 am
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Just watched American Pie for the first time , it was pretty funny shit. Ah the trials of high school. I didn't go to prom or any shit like that but did attend a few parties after the fact. Lame ass gangster wanna-be jocks is what I had to deal with just to hang at those functions. Too many fights ended many a good time. At least nobody got shot AT the parties and they saved that shit for later in their fun filled nights. Stupid fucks would steal their friends parents guns and bring them everywhere thinking they were hard core. Oh well , those were the days.
Now I have to worry about dieing of boredom in this redneck state. Hmmm , adrenaline and the threat of fatal injury , or peaceful unexciting drab slow lanes? I will drive slow for awhile and ponder that query.
" We can live together in harmony as friends , Or we can die together as fools." dunno ( paraphrase too)
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| Friday, July 20th, 2001
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9:50 am
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Sooo it is now the morning and prime time for hungry puter snatching people to come for this thing . I have had a rather mundane experience tonight. Trivia and chattin' . Was gonna add last ditch things to web page but my gf has some insomnia so we did trivia. It was fun.
Now here I am and my room in chat sux zebra butt.
The five colors make man's eyes blind ; The five notes make his ears deaf : The five tastes injure his palate ; Riding and hunting Make his mind go wild with excitement ; Goods hard to come by Serve to hinder his progress. Hence the sage is For the belly Not for the eye. Therefore he discards the one and takes the other.
Tao Te Ching book 1 , 12
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3:12 am
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Well ladies by the time you can tell I am burning the midnight oil tonight getting what , as I've stated too many times , may be the last day on this ol' computer. My gf and I have discussed the Gateway options and are seriously looking in that direction. Courtney I will most definitely e-mail you hun , so expect my strange and eclectic messages to appear on your inbox ! This puter runs fast without all my crap cloggin' it up! I had quicktime player and real player for trailers and hockey clips , many games and what have you. Hmmmm it will be humorous if she does get this paid for by some act of god , me having deleted and un installed many glorious things.
So now here I am with time to play and what am going to do with it? I have no clue. I am compelled to look shit up that I never got around to looking at like more Taoism sites and kung-fu. Especially a certain folk tale called Raiders of the Marsh , aka Three Kingdoms , programing and HTML stuff , and midget porn . jk
I will probably just waste my time away chattin' to children about how punk they are , or staring at my loser web page. Until next entry ( which will be in a couple of hours ) I will depart with this:
" Oh thou who art trying to learn the marvel of love from the copybook of reason , I am very much afraid that you will never see the point."----- Hafiz
" Bad company is loss , and good company is gain; .... In company of the wind the dust flies heavenwards; if it joins water , it becomes mud and sinks." ----- Tuli Das
current mood: nostalgic current music: whirring of the ac
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| Thursday, July 19th, 2001
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8:50 pm
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this is my last entry for awhile probably so........
Ok court I will be talking at ya soon enough when I get my booty to the liberry for some chattin. Besides that until then just know that you are the coolest. Fuck Fonzi , or Elvis or Bowser from sha-na-na , you are the queen of all that is cool! I will definitely be talking less but will still stop by the ol' reg room and say hiya often.
I knew this day would come all too clearly , and yet , upon the day of it's reckoning I am stunned into silence and confusion. Why is this happening to me ? Did I do something in this life or in ones before to deserve such disappointment and loss?
The material possessions of my life were always just that. Though it seems I have put too much value on a machine and am going to pay for it now it is destined to go. Ah what a sad and empty vessel I have become . I am determined now to become the man I was meant to be! Screw this life of languishing in lazy boredom!
I shall take to the gym! I will start reading avidly as in my youth! I will .........oh hell who am I bullshitting? I will at least become more active and strive for a healthier lifestyle.Who knows? maybe my momma san will miracle some way for me to keep this thing. probably not..........
current mood: aggravated
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| Tuesday, July 17th, 2001
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6:29 pm
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That's it!!!!!!!!!!!! Courtney has pushed me too far this time, so now I must write in here about some idiotic crap just so she has the displeasure of reading this shit.Hmmmmmmm............
On the date of his execution , Tim had sat down on his bunk to contemplate whether his plan would work. The timing would have to be perfect and his accomplice would have to be sharp . Already haven eaten and shaved he knew that the hour of his greatest victory , or his tragic demise was soon at hand. Sgt. Matthews knew the route to the guard tower so well he often was caught daydreaming as he walked back to his post in the shooters station. He would think about the time the rollin' 45 set from D-block started a riot in order to kill a snitch running with the lower caste banditos , a biker club out of California only recently staking claims in this area. His shot that day had been amazing , dropping two men with a single bullet and single handedly staved off a vicious attempt to take out his men in the lock down control room of the yard.
to be continued.....................
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| Monday, July 16th, 2001
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8:28 pm
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sooo hmmmm. I'm now writing in here just to catch up to my glorious chat friend Courtney who is the reigning master and champ of lj entries. I don't have anything to say except court is a sweetheart and shouldn't stress her lovelife so much. Just take it in stride and go with it. Whatever happens does , so be it. Ugh that was a bad movie line. Anywho I shall leave this entry with a haiku! Yes, that's right a fucking haiku!
Lying in the grass, The scent of flowers in bloom , Summer always ends. yeah I know it sucks...............
current mood: okay
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3:05 pm
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Awake into the world again , dreams cast down thoughtlessly , as I prepare to face the coming of the day. What was I dreaming ? It seems so long ago , hopelessly long ago. The darkness of the hour before the raging beast of dawn comes to life brings me solace and a chance to remember those fleeting images of the way I wished it was. Those sweet ideals and values that rang so true in my youth and gave me peace and hope. Will they still be there when I return to that place? Will those blessed notions remember me and embrace the man that I have become?
Whatever happened to that boy and those dreams? That positive energy and outlook? Down the turbulent rivers and across the bumpy roads that I have traveled , which turn led me astray from that garden , that fountain of youth? I wonder at all those days playing under the stars like adolescent gods putting off the managing of creation . To dance to the rhythms of the muse just little while longer until the day of conducting its tune is at hand.
As the dawn breaks open into full blazing day , the warmth of its life engulfs me. My thoughts drift out into the world thinking of the activities to unfold , all the instances of opportunity. Chances to help and hurt , for gain and loss. Will I make the right decisions today? Will I smile when I go to work , and greet my fellows in a warm and gracious manner , helping them to smile in return? Shall I hold the door and carry the load for my neighbor as she goes in frailty about her chores? Will I raise my fist in hatred when someone casts a downward glance or condescends in tone iof voice? Then I realize and remember. I travel back to that place and that time and see that I had not lost my way home .My head still lies on that bed at night,so it seems that those dreams haven't left me after all. Nor I have strayed from their lofty perch in my heart.The ideals to change the world and live in unity , free from tyranny and prejudiced persecution stand tall. They have become the force to change my world from inside out , to start outside my door , right on the streets of my neighborhood , beginning at the begining.Leaving behind the utopian fantasy though and walking proud into the welcoming rays of the day , dreaming.
current mood: optimistic
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| Wednesday, July 11th, 2001
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2:25 am
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Finally got to hear the heartbeat yesterday.It was cool but it seemed like the doc. didn't let us hear it for very long , he just got the bpm and stopped..Oh well it was cool anyway.I also just watched The Green Mile for the first time. That movie kicks ass I must say , it made me get choked up at the part where Coffee ( ?) was executed. Yeah so I'm a sap for that shit , I also get taken by the human spirit triumphs and tragedies. end
current mood: contemplative current music: eye of the tiger --- lol jk
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| Sunday, July 8th, 2001
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2:11 pm
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Ahhh the joys of bowling. I went and pretended I knew how to bowl last night, and needless to say it was a disaster.The sad thing is that when I moved to this sorry state I actually bowled in a league out of nothing better to do.It was fun and funny though so it's all good.Besides that nonsense I have nothing of importance to note.
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| Saturday, July 7th, 2001
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12:56 pm
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Well the little dog died today about an hour ago.She had cancer in her mouth , but the cause of death was actually a severe infection of the gums due to poor dental hygien.How many times do animals suffer due to the neglect of their owners , the very people they trust and love ? I can't even think of the little dog's name right now but the little tri-pod was probably as good as any dog I've ever had in my life.She only had three legs due to being hit by a car some time ago .
current mood: blank current music: mind numbing t.v. noise
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| Friday, July 6th, 2001
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2:19 pm
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today isn't going so well.My gf's mom's dog is sick and will probably die by tomorrow, and I have a serious sinus thing going on here too.The chat room was full but I could take no enjoyment in it , so when I got disconnected I wasn't too upset about it to say the least.I hope to fuckin' god I find another job soon , I am going stir crazy in here. I need a life damn it , or something to close to it.
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